i don’t reblog things often but holy shit
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Skin against skin, butt and bone
You're drawing by yourself so you must atone
Boys or girls, when you draw their rears
There's one rule that you must adhere
LET THE BUTTCHEEKS KISS THE FLOOR.
LET THE BUTTCHEEKS KISS THE FLOOR.
LET THE BUTTCHEEKS
KISS THE FLOOR.
Thank you, that mnemonic will be stuck in my head forever now.
NAY. We shall wait with a warrior’s patience for the goodly clerk to fulfill their lunch break.
as much as the concept of Jesus being a fairly normal lad has its charms, im personally very intrigued by the idea of him being just… extremely weird. not even in a mystical sense, just…….staggeringly BIZZARRE.
you go to the well to get some water, and here’s Miriam’s boy, staring at the sky, completely still. his expression is unreadable. you hazard a hello and ask how he’s doing, and he slowly, unblinkingly, lowers his gaze on you (he’s 8 and is missing his frontal teeth, not that this is making you any less uncomfortable) and says “I cannot speak of the state of my being, Nathan son of Saul, my brother, but rejoice for the water you shall take today will be as pure as the soul of the children of Heaven”
…you start sweating
normal person in 1st century Nazareth: making my way downtown, walking fast
*sees J boy, 8 yo, staring at you from across the street*
normal person: walking faster
even funnier, the only person 100% on board with his Prophetic Kid Talk is his mother Miriam, an otherwise placid, absolutely normal woman around 25 or so
kid JC, coming home at twilight, a single white dove following him and chirping with weirdly human-like precision:
moth̫́er,̦͌ ̮̉i h͙̉av͔̽e ͓͗b̘̃r̞̓o̮͘u̲̒gh̟͒t̺́ you a do̗͐ṽ͙e̢͘ ͈̾m͒͢a͈̽dē̝ ỏ̘f ͈̓c̆͜l͔̂aỷ͇ aṋ̑d̳̿ g͢͞i̹̾fted̖͡ ̻͐it ͓͂w̖̿it̎͜h t̥̃h͙͒e ̨̒m̧̂i̡̍ŗ͒â̫cḷ̔è̤ ̛̻of̞̅ l̘̈i̛̦fè̳
Miriam: ! that’s my little boy :) now let’s go get ready for dinner :)
her husband Yosef, a carpenter who only marginally got signed up for this:
This post is so Christian, but it’s the spicy kind of Christian that gets you murdered by other Christians for heresy, so I’m torn.
literally biggest form of compliment i’ve ever gotten
that means the angels are babysitters then
here have more
You guys really need to read Christopher Moore’s Lamb, if you haven’t.
Always reblog Cryptid Jesus
I made more. cause it’s fun
I love that you guys used their actual names
I did not consider Eldritch Baby Jesus.
Indie RPG authors, I implore you: use a highly legible typeface for your headings. It doesn't matter how thematic it is – if people have to pause to puzzle out what your headings actually say, that's going to make it slow and annoying to find things, and if your game is any longer than a couple of pages, that's a problem. People only read RPG books from beginning to end in order the first time, if at all – every time after that, they're referring to the text as a reference manual, and in a reference manual, the headings are your primary navigational anchors. Having to look shit up is already a potential pain in the ass; don't make it harder than it needs to be.
Circumstances in which it is acceptable for heading typefaces to prioritise flash and pizzazz over legibility:
- The fancy word art on the book's cover
- Chapter splash pages if and only if the book also has running headers or footers restating the title of the current chapter
- Absolutely nowhere else
i’m just incredibly over how whenever a woman makes a movie about women it gets picked over to hell and back and men hate it because they hate women and women hate it because it didn’t Do Feminism Perfectly Right and queer people on tumblr hate it because it’s about a straight woman and republicans hate it because it’s furthering the woke agenda and everybody and their fucking father has to write a goddamn think piece about it. and then a man makes a movie about a man and it’s just a movie. it’s just another movie that came out on a friday during some month of the year. and usually the man’s movie is a little misogynistic but no one really criticizes that because well he’s a man we can’t expect better from him haha isn’t it so silly when those male directors hate women!! but then the female director literally gets her every decision analyzed by everyone for the next month not even counting all the criticism and analyzing that was done during the lead up to her movie. and then we all have to pretend like it’s not horrifically misogynistic to level all that extra criticism onto women who make movies and then just let the men go do whatever. like i’m sooo sick of it i’m so sick of it! and god forbid someone like me log on to whatever social media platform and say hey don’t you guys think you’re being too critical? because then WE’RE the bad guy for hating perfect intersectional feminism i guess. like i’m so deeply deeply sick of this are you all not sick of this.
Computers are very simple you see we take the hearts of dead stars and we flatten them into crystal chips and then we etch tiny pathways using concentrated light into the dead star crystal chips and if we etch the pathways just so we can trick the crystals into doing our thinking for us hope this clears things up.
Batteries are also very simple you see we manipulate the foundational forces that hold the universe together to tear the souls of metals from their gross matter and then we provide convoluted pathways by which the metal may become reunited with itself and we derive useful energy from the metal’s desperation to do so hope this clears things up
(Oh yea the dead star crystal chip pathways mentioned above are for the metal souls mentioned below)
Me: Nutella is not delicious enough to justify it's cost of production
Epic brains of Tumblr: Ur saying u want to destroy all of baby's production chain 🥺 u want me to eat nothing but soil?? 🥺
This set of tags is also very telling bc like if you're confronted with the idea of not having Nutella and your immediate thought is that no Nutella = eating dirt and leaves, maybe think for more than two seconds about what it is as citizens of the global north that we offload to the global south for the sake of these meager conveniences
All the idealists want to talk about fully automated luxury space communism, but no one wants to answer the question of where the mines are or who works in them or in the material processing plants to produce this automated frontend, or god forbid, who does the maintenance?
Also it's not lost on me that this person, when confronted with the possibility of less Nutella, immediately paired a food that's a staple of the diets of many global south nations (beans) with dirt and leaves.